Beach Road is finished

Beach Road in Pattaya is finished. At least as a reliable spot to pick up reasonably good looking hookers on the cheap. Don’t get me wrong. Beach Road is good as it has ever been for tourists. But for lowlife poon hounds like me the Coconut Bar seems to be over for good.

There was a time not long ago when you could take a stroll and find anywhere from 50 to 100 prostitutes on Beach Road. This was true from the late afternoon into the earliest hours of the morning. And some of these chicks were even hot!

Best of all, they didn’t ask for much. When I started picking up hoes from the Coconut Bar 500 Baht was all it took. That was about $14 in American money at the time.

I got some really good scores from Beach Road. Including a hot 19 year old chick from Bangkok who told me she heard it was an easy way to make money. Mostly though I would get single moms who looked alright but had saggy milked out tits and raisin bellies.

Beach Road prostitute prices

So Beach Road was never my main pull. Especially since the beach chicks were never that adventurous or skilled. And I could always go to a Pattaya BJ bar or Soi 6 to get a load sucked out of my cock for 700 to 1000 Baht.

Things went up and down. Ladyboys would start showing up in greater numbers. Then more tourists would get their pockets picked or their shitty gold necklaces snatched. The cops would come through and make a big show of cleaning things up. A few days later the hookers would be right back on Beach Road.

Prices crept up too. I still remember the first time a thick beach chick asked me for 700 Baht. It stuck out because I was always paying 500 with no issue until then. Soon the ask was up to 1000 almost universally. Sometimes even higher.

Now 1000 Baht was like 33 bucks at the time. So more than double what they used to want, at least in terms of the American dollar. This basically ended my days searching the Coconut Bar for babes.

Pattaya Beach Road changes

I remember there was one weird stretch of about a year or so. I think it was around 2017. The cops were being extra dickish about the chicks posting up on Beach Road. So to get around it, the hardened hookers would just post up on the other side of the road where all the motorbikes were parked. If the boys in brown showed up, they would say they were just getting their bikes.

Then 2020 came. Pattaya was already looking a little weak on the tourist front. I mean there were tons of people in town. But less boned up bros like me and a lot more Chinese group tours and European families. Weird stuff!

When all the lockdown and travel ban stuff started Pattaya was hit hard. Most of the bar girls went back home to their provinces. Only a few chicks stayed around. Beach Road started looking dire.

The town took the time to spruce things up a little. They had been doing this off and on for years. Expanding the sidewalk, planting trees, putting in a statue or sound stage. Sure the beach was still a disgusting mess, but only a fucking nut would swim in Pattaya bay anyway. The point was that Beach Road itself was being improved. At least on the one side where there’s actually enough room to walk. And only if you’re a regular mainstream tourist who is more interested in shopping at the mall than blowing a load.

Beach Road today

Pattaya is basically back in action now. Beach Road looks as good as it ever did. The local government did some real improvements. So you can walk, run, sit under a palm tree and have a general good old fashioned tourist time.

But if you’re looking for hookers Beach Road is basically dead. I have never seen it so bad. Not even when all the women were standing on the cramped side of the road next to the bike parking area.

There are still some ladies trying to make a Baht on the beach. But they are all old, fat, or old and fat. Then there are the chicks with dicks. Plus they all want 1000 or even 1500 Baht now.

Why would anyone go this route now? If you were looking for the cheapest sex then you would just head to Bush Mountain. If you were looking for the most adventurous chicks you would head to a gentlemen’s club (which can be even cheaper than the beach!). If you were looking for the best looking chicks, you’d hit a go go bar.

There is literally no point or reason to look for chicks on Beach Road these days. And that is probably why the scene has shriveled up like my nuts that time I tried to go swimming on Haeundae Beach in May. Sorry bros, but the Beach Road in Pattaya is finished. Likely forever.