Review of Absolute Paradise in Chiang Mai

Absolute Paradise is a body to body massage located inside a rundown old hotel in Chiang Mai. The fact that it is in an actual hotel room isn’t what makes it stand out though. The hot chicks that work there are much more interesting from my point of view.

There are actually a lot of massage parlors in Chiang Mai. And even more body to body massage places. Most of the customers are either Thai or Asian. The western guys tend to congregate around the old Isan ladies working the beer bars on Loi Kroh. Then they complain that Chiang Mai has nothing to offer. That is false. Chiang Mai has some of the hottest chicks in all of Thailand. A quite a few of them work in these body to body joints, including Absolute Paradise.

Absolute Paradise can be found inside of room 211 of the Paradise Lodge and Spa Hotel in Chiang Mai. It is open from 11 in the morning to midnight for those who want to wander in off the street. But they also have a LINE account where they can make appointments and show pictures of the women working each day.

Massages at Absolute Paradise

If you don’t pick a chick over the internet then the chubby dude who runs the place will have all the women come out one by one. There is no random assignment here. Customers choose the woman or women they want.

Prices are a little less clear. Because this is one of the many places in Chiang Mai with a tiered system. So the chicks that are higher tier charge more. Now the chubby guy will tell you right up front which is which. So there is no scamming going on. But at least for me it can be hard to remember who charged 1300 Baht and who charged 1600 when I am confronted with a line of attractive women.

I can’t say I have ever seen an ugly woman at Absolute Paradise. I stayed in a condo nearby for 2 months once and I must have visited a dozen times. All the women looked good to me. Most were early 20’s with fair skin and no tattoos or stretchmarks. One actually looked like Tittiporn only with lighter skin and slightly smaller boobs. I did see a couple of chicks who were more brown Isan types with fake boobs. I even selected one once just for fun. It turned out pretty well as she was very skilled.

Absolute Paradise is one of a few places where they take the money up front. Since it is not a rip off joint of any kind I never mind that. It also makes sense with the setup. The manager is in one room. The chicks take you to various other hotel rooms for the massage. So guys would be able to simply walk out without paying if they didn’t get the cash in advance.

The happy conclusion

The hotel rooms used are plain but clean. They have beds, closets and bathrooms. That is it. But that’s all they need. They chicks shower then shower you. Next they put you on the rubber sheet covered bed. They cover their bare bodies with nuru lotion and slide all over you front and back. Then they decide how to finish you off.

One thing I always liked was that every chick I have met at Absolute Paradise was fresh, fun or both. I mean some of the chicks were new to the game and shy. But they were so fresh and clean. Then there were the chicks that were more experienced with men. But they were really smiley and fun. The best times I had were with women who were both fresh and fun.

I have seen some foreign dudes complain online about Absolute Paradise. Usually they say they paid for a massage and only got a massage or hand job. I think the problem is these dudes don’t understand the game and the chicks didn’t bother explaining it. Or they couldn’t communicate in any language but Thai. As is often the case in Asia people are sort of expected to know how stuff works. And if they don’t then they are just out of luck. Especially if they don’t speak the language.

The price paid at Absolute Paradise is for a massage and nothing more. Most of the chicks throw in a hand job as a part of the relief package. But that’s it. Sure it is a nuru massage with body to body contact and lots of slippery sliding so it feels pretty damn good. Now if a chick wants to make extra money she can offer more than just a massage too. But if she does offer me she obviously wants more money for that. We’re talking tips of course.

Not every chick will offer full service here I guess. They almost all offered it to me though. And one time I just came out and asked and she said sure. If they dicuss a tip up front they’ll normally want 1000 Baht. Or maybe just 500 for a blow. So all in together this comes out to something like 60 to 80 US dollars. Hardly a king’s ransom. Especially to have a butt naked 20 year old chick with a firm body sliding all over you. Like the Terminator, I will be back!