Chiang Mai has been attracting hippies, retirees, and digital nomads for years. It’s got a pretty low cost of living and a laid back vibe. On the other hand, guys who like to get laid often complain that it doesn’t compare to cities like Bangkok and Pattaya. I guess that’s true, but for its size the city has a lot of options for guys who want to get their wangs wet as you can tell by some of my previous posts on Chiang Mai.

As a general rule, the chicks in Chiang Mai are a little more conservative than the women in Bangkok. Of course they are also a lot better looking on average. Even though they might not rock out all night in discos like a lot of Bangkok babes, they still get horny like anyone else. Most of them can’t speak English but the ones who can are usually interested in foreigners. Even a lot of chicks who only speak Thai are down for mixing it up with a foreigner if he can at least put a few sentences together in Thai. All the standard dating options exist as spelled out in my earlier post on dating and having sex with Thai women. I have had a lot of success with picking chicks up in the city with cold approaches but online dating via Tinder and Thai Friendly is undoubtedly more effective considering the lower risks and efforts.

Finding women to date isn’t a problem in Chiang Mai. The bigger issue is hiding from the women you’ve found. It’s a small world in Chiang Mai, and word gets out quick. If you spend any amount of time there you are bound to run into the same people over and over. For a lot of guys the risk isn’t worth the reward, especially if they have girlfriends or wives. This goes for Thai guys too.

Soapy massage parlors are the answer for a lot of these guys who want quick action with no obligation other than an up front payment. There are several in Chiang Mai. There used to be even more, but a few of them went out of business. The cream of the crop was left, so there’s no need to cry over spilled soapy water.

Sayuri

Sayuri is the most well known soapy massage parlor in the city. Every taxi and tuk tuk knows it. Any guy who asks for a sexy massage will probably be taken here, though the driver will want a commission so the price will go up for the customer. Smart guys just get dropped off in front or nearby. The place has an out of the way location but it is easy to find thanks to lots of signs posted around the city and the wonders of modern technology. The place looks like it used to be nice, with spiral staircases and indoor ponds, but it’s pretty worn down now. The show room is located up the stairs just inside. There is a very long “fish bowl” filled with women. At the far end there are some fancy chairs where the “models” sit. They want the most money. The rest of the women sit over behind the magic mirrors. They want between 1,400 and 1,600 Baht. The women know how to dress up to make themselves look good. In reality a lot are average at best and most of them have had kids. The Thai guys know this which may be why some of them sit around for thirty minutes staring at the women before making a choice. Anyway, the action goes down in dingy rooms downstairs. The rooms have low ceilings and bath tubs along with little beds. They have inflatable mattresses too but most of the chicks barely perform as it is. I don’t think many of them are doing the nuru body slide. They are probably all worn out. One chick here confessed to me that she gets six guys every time she works. That’s a lot of action in a single day. The Sayuri Complex is open from noon to midnight.

Ping Payom

Ping Payom is probably the worst soapy massage parlor in Chiang Mai. It’s old and beat up and there aren’t many women working there. On the other hand it is conveniently located near the airport on Sutthep Road. The massage area is accessed through the parking lot behind the the Ping Payom hotel. It opens around noon and closes at midnight. The women are categorized into three classes and they charge different prices. The lowest want 1,500 Baht. The middle set want 1,650 Baht. The highest level chicks want 2,000 Baht.

Celeb

Celeb might be the best soapy massage parlor in Chiang Mai. It’s centrally located near the Night Bazaar and in walking distance of a lot of hotels. It opens at noon but the women don’t really start showing up until 2:00 or later. There is a typical fishbowl set up along the back wall of the lobby. Two groups of women sit there. One set wants 1350 Baht. The other group wants 1650 Baht. They are mostly average looking women from Isan but there are a couple from Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai around. Celeb has the most knowledgeable managers. They can’t speak English well but they know who is good at what and which of the women have had babies. There is a couch in the back corner where sideliners sit. A lot of them look better than the chicks behind the glass but it seems like a lot of non-Thai customers don’t notice them back there. The managers don’t really push them either. They don’t always show up but when they do there are around a dozen of them there in the afternoon and early evening. They don’t stick around at night. Most of them are in their early twenties and haven’t had kids. The sideliners want 1350 Baht. Celeb relocated from another building. The current place is an old hotel with plenty of rooms. They are big rooms too with full bathtubs, big beds and modern televisions that have porn on two channels. Celebs is open until midnight.

None of the chicks working the Chiang Mai soapy massage parlors are spectacular performers. They don’t do the kinds of things seen in Thai porn. But they do their jobs and don’t try to rip anyone off. They also charge around the same as some of the hardcore hustlers in the massage parlors along Loi Kroh Road who gouge tourists 1300 Baht for a shitty massage and a handjob. It’s obvious why Thai guys prefer the soapy massage parlors!