The worst go go bar in Bangkok

I did a post on the five best go go bars in Bangkok here almost three years ago. Time flies and things change. A lot of go go bars have come and gone especially in Nana Plaza. Others changed. DC-10 went from being a slow little go go bar to a crowded place filled with chicks with dicks. Straps is now full of post-op ladyboys.

As I wrote back then, I spent an ungodly amount of time and more money than I’d care to remember in Thailand’s famous go go bars. I don’t spend as much time or money in them as I used to though, since I have found several options that are a lot better in my opinion. It may be that I am just getting jaded, but I think a lot of it has to do with changes I’ve seen.

If I was going to write a post on the five best agogos in Bangkok right now it would look different than the one I made years ago. Rainbow 2 isn’t that good anymore. The Strip no longer lets you get busy with dancers in the private booths. Bunnies and Butterflies are both better choices now. Plus, the last entry on the old list would be removed completely, because Crazy House is now the worst go go bar in Bangkok in my eyes.

After I wrote about the best go go bars a lot of other people came along praising Crazy House. I guess since it has fully naked chicks and a reputation for letting hands roam all over the dancers word spreads. I don’t claim to be an innovator. I just write what I think. I’ve seen too much at Crazy House to continue on calling it one of the best.

I’ve seen guys cry foul over padded bills with no respite, guys being told they have to pay 400 Baht because someone spilled their drink on the floor, people get turned away at the door for no obvious reason, used condoms on the stairs, chicks on stage refusing to even drink with guys for whatever reason and more. On top of that it gets so fucking crowded some nights that there’s no way to enjoy the place, especially when they insist on banging the music so loud that you can’t even hear your own thoughts.

Why it’s the worst

The final straw for me came when I tried to enter Crazy Horse with a regular Thai chick I was dating who wanted to check an all nude place out. First we had to fight our way through the normal clutter of dancers in robes, sleeping soi dogs, and food and liquor stands that are all piled up on the little sidewalk in front of the bar. After we made it through that gauntlet we had to make it through a pushing and shoving crowd of at least ten Chinese guys who were busy asking the two angry faced door men what the place was, then trying to figure out what “go go ba” meant.

When we finally made it to the draped door one of the non-smiling door men reached out an arm rudely and put a menu in my face. He said something in English that I couldn’t understand. I couldn’t understand after asking him to repeat either so I said “okay” and smiled like I usually do when I have no idea what someone is saying in Asia and tried to go through the curtain again. He put his arm out to stop me again and said “you come with lady have to orden drink here” rather rudely. I said I’d order inside as usual and he said “no, here” in a demanding tone. I paused, gave a phony half-smile, said no thanks, and left. Then we went over to Twisters in Nana and had a great time, spending about 10,000 Baht drinking with some friendly babes. The chicks there didn’t get fully nude, but more than a few had their jugs out and my girl had a great time playing with them while I palmed one of the fattest Thai asses I’ve ever seen. After I went home horned up and blew my steam off inside of her and all was right with the world again.

The latest ordeal I experienced at Crazy House might not sound like much but it was enough for me. That kind of treatment is so different from the welcoming and respectful way that you get greeted in other parts of Asia like Macau or even the notoriously closed off Japan that it can actually be jarring, unless of course you take the mai pen rai attitude and let everything slide. Doing that might even be healthier, but I’d rather write a rant out here on my website. What can I say? I guess I am a falang through and through.