It’s easy to have sex in Vietnam

I originally wrote this post for Monger Planet. But since that website disappeared I am posting it here. I don’t go as far back as some old hands. But I’ve been spending most of my time in Asia for several years now. And Vietnam is without a doubt one of the hottest locations. Yet, people barely talk about it as a destination for men. Maybe that is one of the reasons it is still so good.

Actually, I think it’s because there is no tourist-style industry in place for guys to walk off an airplane and get swept away into a resort town with go go bars. But isn’t the whole point of travel to experience new things? If you want to speak English and hang out with people from your own country all the time, why not just stay home?

Of course, it depends on your perspective. There are guys who worked their whole lives and just want to enjoy retirement in warm weather with a lot of hot women around. They don’t want to go searching in unknown lands. And I can respect that. But I still think I would like Vietnam even if I was an old fogey.

Happy endings in HCMC

Believe it or not, but the local scene is actually huge. There are sex shops of various kinds in pretty much every part of Vietnam. I’ve even found karaoke clubs and blowjob barber shops in rural areas with a single road.

Saigon clearly has the most going for it in this area though. The bread and butter of the erotic industry in town are hand jobs and blowjobs. Some guys aren’t into these kinds of services. But when they’re done by experts they can rival the best sex in my opinion. Especially when they’re so cheap.

You won’t see any signs that say “get a blowjob here.” But if you can memorize even a few phrases in Vietnamese, you will find what is basically the local equivalent. Vietnamese is written in the same alphabet we use, more or less. So it’s not hard to read, even if it is hard to speak.

Hot toc goi dau actually means “hair cut and shampoo.” But a lot of places with signs like that are actually just blowjob shops. When you walk in, you won’t see any barber. Just some chicks in short dresses, ready to give you “massage.” You go upstairs or in back to a semi-private booth with a massage table and a sink. Then she pulls down her dress and goes to work.

The most well-known hot tocs for foreigners are on a short street called Nguyen Phi Khanh. But foreign guys often overpay there, so they basically expect 400,000 or 500,000 Dong for service now. At $17-21 American, that’s not a lot of money. But it’s actually double what most locals pay. If you find any of the dozens of other places around Saigon, you can still pay 200,000 VND or less. I just found a $6 blowjob shop by accident recently.

Hand jobs in Saigon

Hand jobs are even easier to find. And they usually come with a real full body massage, bathing service and sauna. Don’t worry, you can skip the sauna if you want. Especially when it’s 40 degrees Celsius in Saigon.

A lot of the small parlors with sexy chicks in short dresses have all kinds of options. But it’s all up to the chick and your negotiation. Some guys get ripped off in these places. I read reports online and balk. But many three star hotels have 24 hour massage inside. And that’s almost always meant for men.

Neon signs in English that say “Massage 24/7” or something like it are usually a clue. Inside they have VIP rooms. Waiters take you there and give you a fresh fruit dish and drink of your choice. Then a cute chick in a short skirt shows up to take care of you. She’ll strip you, wash you head to toe, massage you top to bottom, then give you a great happy ending by hand. It’s not a girlfriend experience at all. But it’s pure customer-centered service. And that’s good too. Typically this costs less than what the Pattaya walking street go go bars now charge for a barfine.

Full service can be found

Then there are the full service options. Some people seem to think there aren’t any. But in fact there are a ton! There are cheap street walkers, hotel girls, WeChat prostitutes, escorts, freelancers, massage girls, and a whole lot more in Vietnam.

You can find cheap street walkers on Hai Ba Trung street across from the park in District 3. They’re there every night. And usually all night too. A lot of them are middle aged. Some are chunky. But once in a while a hot one will show up too. The prices can’t be beat. We’re talking small change here. Like $5 US or less.

WeChat chicks can be found by looking for “people around me” on the WeChat app. They come right to your room. They’re definitely all about the short time. But it’s on demand service. They usually ask foreigners $100 right off the bat. But they’ll take $50. Some of them are surprisingly sexy.

Escorts can be found online. If you learn some Vietnamese you can use the local sites and get very hot chicks for very little money. We’re talking about 500,000 VND for full service with a 19 year old here. But it takes some work if you don’t speak the language.

Freelancers who specialize in foreigners can be found in all the clubs. The hustlers usually go to Apocalypse Now and demand $100 cash. Better ladies can be found in some of the more upscale places. They aren’t so quick to talk about money.

Locating Vietnamese knocking shops isn’t too hard either. They open and close all the time, so there’s no sense listing them. But many are out by the airport. And others are along the canal. It’s totally possible to walk into these places and screw any of the chicks there for $50 US or less.

Then there’s even a street called “Alley 15A” filled with full service places for foreigners who don’t want to go the local route. It’s mostly Japanese and Korean guys around there. So some people call it Little Tokyo. But the prostitutes working that area take anyone as long as they aren’t Vietnamese. The prices are high though at about 3,000,000 VND per screw. That’s more than a hundred bucks American.

They have hostess bars too. But the chicks are even less likely to leave with you then they are over in Phnom Penh. The Ho Chi Minh City hostess bars are not great value for money. Yet you see lots of foreign guys in them every night. I guess that’s why word gets around that there’s nothing going on in HCMC!

Dating Viet chicks

And one of the best and most overlooked aspects of Vietnam in general is the dating scene. It used to be very tough with conservative women and a lack of English. To some extent, that persists. But man, things are changing fast!

It’s no exaggeration to say that I can get laid as much as I want when I am in Vietnam. I actually find myself turning down dates all the time. Because the cheap blowjobs and dating scene is just overwhelming. There are tens of millions of available women, and many of them are very sexy.

You can hop on the usual apps and dating sites and be in contact with as many women as you want in a matter of hours. If you are able to ask them out that day, your odds greatly increase. And it isn’t just for young studs. Vietnam seems to care less about age difference than any other place in Asia. Go to Walking Street in HCMC at night and you’ll see tons of very old white and Asian dudes in the mix, walking around with local women in their twenties. It’s not out of the norm at all, and no one even bats an eyelid!

But what if you’re not comfortable with a big age difference? No problemo. Even the older Viet chicks can be nice. I’m not a cougar chaser, but even I have found some excellent MILFs in Vietnam. And they are usually great ladies to have around too. You could do worse than to get a Vietnamese girlfriend, or even a wife if that’s what you’re into.

In terms of women, paid fun and dating, Ho Chi Minh City is a megalopolis that delivers. There’s no “Hangover Nightlife Tours” or English speaking touts trying to get you into ping pong shows. But there is a ton of opportunity for the horny man with a hard on. I wouldn’t tell you to go. And I couldn’t make you if I wanted to. But I have decided to travel to HCMC many times. And I have never regretted it.