Every asshole is different

There is an age old saying. “Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one and they all stink.” But this phrase is wrong in more ways than one. Some people aren’t even smart enough to come up with opinions. Some people don’t even have assholes. And every ass hole does not stink. At least not all of the time.

A chick who takes care of herself, showers several times daily and uses a bum gun after going to the bathroom is not walking around with a stinking ass end. Now your big fat American neighbor on the other hand probably does reek of shit. Because he treats his body differently.

Just like every pussy feels different, every asshole has character all its own. Sure they all perform the same basic function. But different bung holes are like different people. This is the kind of thing you learn after being up close and personal with hundreds of them.

Ass fuckers anonymous

Now I don’t always fuck poop shoots. And I stopped eating ass a while back. But when I do go all in on an anus I am usually good and horny. It takes a certain mindset to want to plow your way up the Hershey Highway. Since I’m not in prison I only do it when the mood strikes me. And usually when I am sure I can get up the turd cutter without a ton of effort.

different anuses

Early on in my fucking career when I was still strictly banging amateurs I did bang a couple of butts. It usually took some work though. You’d have to have the chick prepare, you’d have to get lube, get your prick and her picker primed up, then slowly work your way in. There were 2 assholes I couldn’t get in at all.

Fast forward years later and I am meeting women who offer Anal Fucking on demand with just a simple request. Or maybe an extra 20 or 30 bucks. This is most common in Thailand. I guess competing with tons of ladyboys really opens up the market. And the assholes.

Hard roads and Hershey Highways

There are places like Snow White in Bangkok where a dude can walk in off the street and order up an hour of buttfucking. It is literally that simple. Sometimes it takes the fun out of the situation. But sometimes it makes the situation even more fun. Like when I want a porn star experience with no holes barred. Can’t do that without a three holer to enjoy!

I’ve been with some totally average looking chicks working some of these places just for that experience. I remember rolling into one shop and meeting a famous hardcore performer. About 28 with a round ass but not much else going for her at all. I knew her by reputation though. So I took her up to the room. She gave me an instant blowjob as soon as we got in the room. Then she washed herself off in the shower. I told her I wanted to fuck ass but not pussy. She said okay. Next thing I know she’s laid back on the bed spread eagle telling me to climb on board. I put on a condom and easily slide right up her bootypipe. No resistance at all! I ended up ass fucking her in multiple positions. It was fun but I couldn’t cum. So I face fucked her and blew a wad of cock snot down her throat. Total damage was 1500 Baht. That’s just under $45 American.

I do still plug the occasional amateur doo doo maker too though. A 20 year old Vietnamese chick I met on Tinder really wanted to try anal sex. She actually seemed shy at first. But once we started fucking she really opened up. After she learned that I did it before she kept saying that she wanted to do it too. At one point she was practically begging. The first time I could only get the head in. Even with lots of foreplay and lube. So I gave up and creampied her cunt instead. The next time we met about 2 weeks later she was more relaxed and committed. She tried to squat on my well lubed dick but couldn’t bring herself to lower her ass onto my meat skewer. So I put her in doggy, worked my way in, and started pumping hard until I unloaded up her shitter bareback about 3 minutes later. I still remember when I pulled out. No mud on the helmet, which is always good. Then, while still in dog position, she turned her head around and said “you finish?” I said yea and still shocked she asked “really?”

What can I say? Her firm flesh and super tight ass squeezed that load right out of me. There was no way I was going to hold on for long up that virgin sphincter. It was 180 seconds of pure pleasure and I don’t regret it one bit. Since she let me fuck again later I don’t think she did either.

Same same but different

This brings me back to the original topic. All assholes are different. Once you start checking them out you see that. I don’t know how many variations of assholes there are. But genetics and environment combine to make rosebuds on the backside as different from one another as real roses in a garden.

At this point I think I have seen it all. Worst are the blown out buckeyes. They look like nasty outie belly buttons. Broken bung holes torn up by years of bad diet and neglect. Or something worse like too many courses of painal. When I see an asshole sticking out at me I loose my attraction. Even if I never planned to fuck that ass at all. No thanks!

The best are the tight little rings. Very little wear and tear and not even much of an actual “hole” to be seen. You just get a basic indication that there is a hole there. And with enough work you might actually be able to get inside. This is how that Viet chick was. And it snapped right back into place after I slid my tube steak out of her hole.

Then you have all the more usual in between stuff. Though you still get different colors, sizes, textures and dexterity. One chick I fucked had a sandy texture inside. I thought maybe I struck oil but there wasn’t any dooky on my dick. And no she didn’t have anal warts either.

Some chicks have like a spiral anus. Some tight. Some loose. Some snap shut as soon you stop dicking them. Others dilate and stay open giving you a way too intimate look into the chicks inner workings. I have even had chicks wink their assholes at me on stage in strip clubs.

I am not going around examining every ass I can find. I am not a proctologist. I am just a horny adventurer with a hard dick to guide me. So when I get around a booty best believe I am going to take a look. If the spirit moves me I might even give it a poke. In the meantime I can’t help but observe my surroundings. And I just so happen to be surrounded by ass a lot of the time! So that’s how I can tell you about all the different shit chutes out there. There is so much variety in this world. What a wonderful time to be alive!

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