AI is fucked and we may be too

I have some bad news. AI is fucked, and we may be too. This isn’t a chicken little cry with no meaning. I have been to the mountain top and seen what lies ahead. It ain’t pretty my friends. If you thought things were bad now, wait a couple of years. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.

In many ways, things are about as bad as they have been. At least in our lifetimes. Now comes this modern technology with claims that it will complete tedious tasks so that we have more free time to sit on our asses and watch football. What could go wrong?

Everything. We’ve already had a sneak peek of what is in store for us. In short, everything is going to get worse as people slide further into sloth. I expect worse products, lesser experiences, and even more obesity and idiocy. If you thought people were lazy now, you ain’t seen nothing yet!

AI is already being used by attorneys to write closing defenses that wreck legal cases. News websites written with AI are plagued with errors. Ugly chicks are manipulating their looks with AI filters. Now they are even talking about using AI to land planes!

I’m not against technology

Now I am no Luddite by any means. I mean I am writing this screed out on a computer and you are reading it on my website. I use the internet for everything from booking international flights to hooking up with Vietnamese chicks from Tinder. I even got a little excited when I found out that artificial intelligence would enable me to generate my own porn.

Then I actually looked a little deeper into the subject. That’s when I found out just how fucked artificial intelligence actually is. I mean, have you seen any AI generated porn? This shit is nightmare inducing. If you want to ruin your sleep for the next few nights, just take a look into some of the weird stuff AI comes up with.

Imagine this horrifying stuff taken to the next degree. If the insecure maniac who bought Twitter ever fulfills his dream and starts implanting computers into human brains, we can only guess how bad things will get.

No doubt there will be plenty of early adopters lined up to be first for the digitized full frontal lobotomy. That shouldn’t surprise us. There are already dummies volunteering to be implanted with micro chips. You know, like a dog. Except not as intelligent. They would rather have a tracking device surgically implanted under their skin than to simply carry an access card when they need it.

AI sucks because it’s based on us

Artificial Intelligence is named literally. It is not an actual intelligence like we have. It is simply something that feeds from the collection of all the works of humanity that have been uploaded to the internet. AI just picks and chooses from what we have already uploaded and spins it into something new. It basically makes a salad out of the fruits of our labor.

The logical conclusion of this is that AI sucks because we suck. Humanity is great at cranking out lies, distortions, rumors, war, genocide, unhealthy food, addictive drugs, Bobby McFerrin music and Adam Sandler movies. You know, some of the worst stuff that has ever existed on this earth. That’s why we have come up with a full 32 flavors of Mountain Dew but still can’t cure childhood cancers.

As far as we may have come, we are largely still pretty damn stupid. Many people actually believe in ghosts and monsters. So what do you really expect from a computerized version of our collective conscious? Especially considering that the average McDonald’s worker can barely squirt mayonnaise onto a bun successfully. Mickey D’s employs almost 2 million people after all.

What could possibly go wrong?

When I first heard of artificial intelligence, I thought I would soon be watching any kind of porn my mind could imagine. Wouldn’t that be great? Instead I get scary pictures of women with extra arms, deformed hands, and strange fluids dripping out of their mouths. The internet is for porn. If AI can’t even come up with a decent fuck pic for me to fap over, how can I trust it to accurately diagnose me with a medical condition?

Actually, how can I trust it at all? AI promises to eliminate a lot of jobs, destroy the creative arts, spread more lies and distortions, and even power a hyper arms race that may spell the death of humanity.

Will things go that far? Maybe, maybe not. In the near future we can at least expect things to get worse before they get better. I don’t know how much time I have left on this earth. So that doesn’t get me very excited for the prospects.

A Senior Advisor to the Copenhagen Institute of Future Studies estimates that 99.9 percent of all content on the internet will be AI-generated by 2025. Other experts say that the entire internet will be AI generated soon. If that is true then we are all fucked. Call me old fashioned, but I want to be able to read stuff written by actual humans, watch professional sex tourist John Tron fuck real Chinese students, and interact with live little brown fucking machines on cam.

Am I out of my mind, or is the advent of artificial intelligence sending us on a dangerous path? You tell me. Unless of course you’re an artificial intelligence bot bent on destroying our way of life once and for all.