How to get through the corona crisis if you’re horny

Millions or maybe even billions of guys are now trapped at home on orders of their governments. I don’t have to tell you why. I probably don’t have to tell you that lockdowns don’t prevent guys from getting horny either. Ours dicks rise every morning. It’s the call of nature and it begs to be answered. So how can horny guys make it through the corona virus crisis?

I have been fucking my way through non stop, but I realize others might not be into that. That’s good for me but maybe bad for everyone else. From what I see back home, it looks like people are in a permanent state of panic. I am alright, but I want to help my fellow man in whatever way I can. That’s why I came up with this post on ways to get through the COVID-19 crisis if you’re horny. As it turns out, you don’t even need to come within 6 feet of anyone else to bust a nice nut or two.

Porn: an old reliable friend

Porn is like an old reliable friend that you can always turn to. That’s why were carving pictures of chicks with ripe tits into stone walls thousands of years ago. These days we have a computer in our pockets that we can turn on with a flick of the finger. Some of it is better than others. Fat people turn to food when they’re feeling low. I turn to sex videos.

life is hard porn meme

I am partial to porn that speaks to my lived experiences. Since I’ve fucked a lot of Thai chicks, a bunch of Filipinas, and a ton of prostitutes, that means I mainly watch Thai porn, Filipina porn and prostitute porn. Not necessarily in that order though.

Yeah, I pay money to get to the best stuff, mainly because I can. That doesn’t mean you have to. If you’re unemployed and in a bad spot just launch Porn Hub and type in something like “exploited Asians”. You’ll have enough content to get you through several fapping sessions. Of course if you want to spend some of that stimulus money it’s tough to beat premium porn featuring paid Asian chicks. They work hard for the money. It makes sense to reward them for their efforts.

Live cams: the ultimate social distancing

One downside of porn is that its prerecorded. If you want all the fun of live interaction without having the worry of actually touching human flesh, you have plenty of options. When I started this website years ago there were just a couple of real premium sex cam sites. Now there are tons. My list of the best Asian cam sites still holds up though. So if you want to talk with Asian chicks that’ll get naked for you, check out the sites I posted there. Asian chicks are the best. That’s why I focused on them.

If you’re broke or just a cheap charlie, you don’t even have to spend money on those sites. They all have free chat options. So you could just sit there and play with your dick while naked chicks spread, do naked handstands, and do whatever else they’re into. They might even talk to you for free. But if you want to tell them how to get down on the dildo you’ll have to reach for that credit card.

If you’re into Asian bar girls in particular, they even have a site set up for exactly that. Believe it or not, it’s called Bargirl Chat. Go there if you miss chatting with Asian prostitutes about deep subjects and questions of major political import such as: what you name? Where you from? And the always resounding and meaningful, what you work? Only here it’s better since their tits will be out the whole time and you don’t have to buy lady drinks.

Pocket pussies and sex dolls

Fucking your own fist is alright. It’s gotten billions of men through the millennia. Still sticking your cock in different things is part of the fun of life. If it can’t be real women the next best thing has got to be replicas of real women. Or at least the parts of their bodies that real men like us care about. That would be tits, ass and maybe mouths. Now there are a bunch of really nice replicas you can pick up and fuck anytime you want. Most of the good stuff is from Japan.

Last time I was in Tokyo I picked up a hip toy called the Nama Jiri Switch Ass. I bought it just for kicks but I ended up having a lot of fun with it. Even though I was scoring with Japanese chicks pretty regularly, I still had my manly urges. Every morning I would fill up the holes on my hip with slippery nuru gel. Then I’d bury my cock inside and pump that hefty fuck toy doggy style until I filled it with my seed. Next I’d drop it in the shower, wash off, and head out into fun of the city. It was a great time. I almost wish I didn’t leave it in the trash can under the desk when I left.

Luckily I can order another one or any other Japanese sex toy right online. If I’m in one of the brutal anti-sex dictatorships of the world it might be an issue. Otherwise I can get the fun sent right to my location, no matter where it may be. That even includes life size replicas of women that you can fuck however you see fit. They cost a ton of money but they sure seem worth it to me. I would definitely think so if the cough cough cops were stationed outside my door with tampons on their faces and assault rifles in their hands.

Being stuck inside might not seem like such a big deal with high def Japanese porn streaming in the background and my cock streaming up the slit of a silicone fuck toy. Some of the sex dolls they have in Japan today are almost like the real thing. I’ve seen them in the flesh. Or, uh, in the silicone. Sure they don’t cook or clean, but neither does your ex girlfriend. At these chicks will give you full access to their holes however and whenever you want it. I’m never going to America again unless I put in an order for an Orient Industry Real Love Doll Ange first. It doesn’t seem safe otherwise.

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