I don’t have AIDS

Good news guys! I don’t have AIDS. I don’t have HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, either. How do I know? I went for my semi-annual check up just over a week ago. On Friday, a nurse from the doctor’s office called me with the results of all the tests they did. I am in perfect health. I don’t have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, syphilis, gonorrhea or HIV. Those are all the things they test for in a check up. At least at that particular place.

Why do they test for those things specifically? That I can’t tell you. I guess those are the most common illnesses, or at least things that can show up without symptoms. I was not tested for influenza or the current bad boy virus though. They didn’t even ask me if I wanted to be. I guess that was to be expected. Especially since one of the doctors wasn’t even masked up.

I didn’t think I was sick, but I try to get tested for everything fairly regularly no matter what. If we could self-diagnose ourselves with everything we wouldn’t need tests. A lot of stuff doesn’t show up until it’s too late. Since I don’t want to go out like Eazy-E, I just stop in to a reputable hospital, clinic or doctor’s office every year to get my blood checked out. I don’t trust STD tests in Thailand, but so far my routine has worked.

std test meme lol

I don’t have health insurance either. I never have, and I probably never will. Maybe if I was from a first world country like Sweden I would be covered. At least I have the cash to cover my nut. A full work up paid with cash usually costs me between one and two hundred bucks. That’s overseas of course. If I was back in America it would probably be in the thousands, if I could even get one at all. Last time I checked a lot of US doctors won’t even see people who don’t have insurance.

In a country like Thailand you can actually get access to the best doctors available by paying cash. The people on insurance usually go to shabby local places. Needless to say, this world is really fucked up. I should know, since I do plenty of fucking.

I don’t keep a strict accounting of my sexual history, but I do have a pretty good memory. That’s how I am able to recount my sex stories and adventures here all the time. Sometimes I write about stuff right after it happens and it’s all still fresh in my head. Other times I jog a memory in my mind and that gets me motivated to write. Whatever works, right?

Anyway, I can say for sure that I have fucked well over five hundred women at this point in my life. About half of them were hookers. Around half of them were also fucked bareback without a condom. Sometimes the two cross over, like the time I fucked the old Thai hooker without a condom and came in her pussy for 30 bucks. Then there are the broken condoms. I’ve busted through at least 10 latex sheaths, always with paid pussy.

On top of that, I have had my cock in well over 1000 mouths. Lots of repeats happened too. I am a big fan of the blow job scene, especially in Asia. Sometimes I’ll go to three Bangkok blowjob bars or HCMC blowjob barbershops in a single day. What can I say? It feels great. I have only used condoms for a handful of blowjobs.

I’ve been up quite a few tailpipes too. That number is probably at around forty or fifty. I mostly only buttfuck regular chicks. As far as I can remember I have never hit a prostitute in the ass without a condom on. I have busted raw nuts in several civilian buckeyes though. Still no major problems. I am glad about that. Or maybe even lucky.

I would like to say that I will use condoms for any and all sex I have from here on out. Like the majority of new year’s resolutions that kind of promise would quickly be broken. Hell, it’s broken already. Just last night I had a threesome with a girl I know and her friend. I used a condom with her friend by their request. But I fucked the girl I know raw and jizzed right up her baby maker.

Maybe I should look into PEP pills again. For now I will just do my best to stay safe, and get tested in between times. I might get hit by a car tomorrow. You never know. There are steps you can take to protect yourself. Then there is the randomness of it all. I am just glad that I don’t have AIDS or any other illness. Let’s hope it stays that way!

  1. Ted
    • Call Me Enzo

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