Marriage is for suckers

I’m going to fill you guys in on an open secret: marriage is for suckers. The risks outweigh the benefits so much at this point that you have to wonder why any man in his right mind would even consider tying the knot. Especially in modernized western countries where the average woman is overweight, covered with tattoos, and toting around a couple of illegitimate kids. In your moment of need even one of these undesirable pigs might leave you alone to die.

What do you get out of it? Even if you manage to buck the odds and stay married until death does you part, you’re basically just going steady for the long run. That’s the best case scenario: years of exclusive dating with a person. Couldn’t you just stay with a person as long as you both enjoy it? I mean if you make it to death then you did that. Who cares? What does your local courthouse or a scum sucking attorney have to do with it?

We also have to look at ourselves. If you are here reading this site, there is a good change you are not marriage material either. You’re probably a guy honest enough with his own feelings to recognize that the natural urge to procreate is a driving force of life. Chimpanzees and bonobos fuck around and we do too. So what? We’re no better than bonobos. At least they don’t throw each other into gas chambers or drop bombs on innocent youths after all.

This isn’t like the old days when you were stuck on some farm and your only access to pussy was the sheep or the neighbor’s daughter either. Nowadays you can get your dick wet at the drop of a hat. And if that doesn’t work you can just pull out your pickle, squirt on some lube, and beat your meat to an endless supply of other people’s sex on video. You have options!

…But Seriously

Remember Phil Collins? He was one of the best selling musicians in history. Well, Phil Collins has been through 3 divorces over the years. According to People, the poor guy has given away a collective 84 million dollars in divorce settlements. You read that right. That’s $84,000,000 American. Let that sink in for a minute.

marriage sucks for men meme

Now I know what you are thinking. You wouldn’t lose 84 million because you don’t have 84 million. Fair enough. I don’t either. But this still serves as a great example and warning sign. Because even an average Joe Shmoe can get nailed in a divorce. Just ask one of the plumbers who is giving away 75 percent of his income to an ex-wife who cheated on him then left with his children.

Let’s look at old Phil again. The guy is 72 years old. For the incredible sum of 84 million, he could have spent 4261 dollars every day since he turned 18. Considering the average price of prostitutes that would have bought a lot of company! So instead of ending up miserable from 3 chicks, he could have been pleased by tens of thousands of woman. He wouldn’t have had any time to be lonely!

You might say well, he at least he had children with the wives. True enough. But he could have had the same number of children with anyone. He could have paid a surrogate to carry his children. He could have adopted. Hell, he could have knocked up a bunch of whores. What would the actual difference be? At the end of the day he didn’t get to live in nuclear families anyway. So why bother.

Hindsight is 20/20

If you asked Phil Collins he would probably not say he regretted his marriages. After all he had children from the relationships. But maybe his lesson might teach other guys what is in store for them if they get married to the wrong woman at the wrong time. Generally speaking this is the wrong time to get married. It has been in most Western societies for decades.

Imagine settling down with the love of your life, giving up on the joy of sex with other people, and heading in to some soul sucking job every day of your life. Now imagine your boss sends you home early one day. You walk in and see your wife on all fours getting butt fucked by the ice cream man. What can you do? Well you can file for divorce. She’ll get the house and half of your dough. You’ll get to keep working the same shitty job but only take home half of the pay. Oh, and if you quit the job the court will lock you up for violating their orders. Sounds cool, right?

Marriage was a historical creation from a certain period of time. Rich dudes started hoarding stuff and they didn’t want it to go to waste when they died. So they figured they would hand it down to their sons. But how do you do that if you don’t know if your son is actually your kid? Marriage to a virgin woman who didn’t cheat was the only sure way. So that’s what happened. The next thing you know people are getting married all over the place and we’re told it’s the norm.

Well, it wasn’t the norm for gay people. They were fought tooth and nail over the issue of marriage for years until it was finally accepted. But in some places they still can’t get married. This just goes to show how fluid it all is. The reality is that all social rules are just made up! It’s up to each and every one of us to decide whether or not we accept or follow them. I mean prostitution has been illegal in much of the world for many years. Yet the world’s oldest profession continues on. Even in hell holes where people’s lives can be destroyed over paying for a tug job.

No one is really happy about marriage. Not even the holier than though bullshit artists. Divorce rates are over fifty percent. Countless people cheat on their spouses. Books, movies and songs are made about how terrible it is to have an old ball and chain. Or a two timing wife. Hell, the entire genre of country music is based on this sort of shit!

I say get married only if it’s with an honest woman you can trust with your life until your dying days. And even then do it only if you want to have children and raise them in a healthy environment. But you can even do that without getting married. Believe or not, but a man and woman can live together and raise a family without getting the government involved. Isn’t that a crazy notion?

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