I got fucked in the ass

Well guys, it happened. I got fucked in the ass. I hope you won’t lose respect for me after reading this. It is just one of the many things that has happened to me in Asia. It would be dishonest for me to keep this from you. So I would rather just explain what went down.

I was in Thailand. Pattaya to be precise. And I was spending a ton of time in Soi 6 bars. If you know anything about the land of smiles then you’ve probably heard about the ladyboys. Pattaya in particular has a ton of ladyboys. The ones who work in the bars and the streets aren’t shy about approaching you either.

People do stuff in Pattaya that they wouldn’t try anywhere else in the world. A favorite saying among ladyboy sex workers is “never try, never know.” From what I hear a lot of guys do end up trying. Some say they are fooled by ladylike ladyboys. Others admit they just wanted to give it the old college try.

I’m not the first to get fucked

They say if you spend enough time in this part of the world you will eventually end up with some kind of anal experience. I’m not talking about fucking chicks in the butt or eating ass either. This is about being on the receiving end of a stiff prick.

Can I push your stool in?

Some dudes stick to just getting a blowjob from a ladyboy. The persistent rumor is that ladyboys give the best head. Supposedly they know how to do it because they were born with cocks themselves. I have never bought into this. I think it’s just a form of guerrilla marketing from ladyboy hookers.

The main thing that makes ladyboys really stand out from ladies is their penises. Sure some get the chop and have their dongs lopped off. But most of the ladyboy bar workers in Pattaya have wangs swinging between their legs. Some are basically just piss sticks because female hormone pills have rendered them floppy. But there are plenty of ladyboys who still get hard and love to fuck farang ass. They tend to look more Amazonian and a few even have five o’clock shadows. But hey, when in Rome right?

I got pounded out

Last week I was hanging out at one of my favorite bars on Soi 6. Only a few chicks work there and they are all very average. But they are also really chill. Most of them give good head and they are not too money hungry. I often go there and hang out in between cheap blowjobs. I even have fun chatting with the chicks and the older woman behind the bar. At this point they let me come in through the back door on Soi 6/1. As you may know, some of the most aggressive ladyboy prostitutes in Pattaya also prowl that back alley.

After leaving the bar that day I took a piss and headed out the back door. My plan was to walk down to the beach. From there I would turn left and have a leisurely stroll down to Starbucks for an an overpriced and unflavored espresso. But I was immediately accosted by a huge ladyboy with biceps bigger than my own. She was super aggressive. She kept asking me “where you go” and offering me all kinds of weird sex for 500 Baht. “I like you I do good.” You know, stuff like that. I didn’t want to get physical but I came close. But then something snapped in my brain and I finally gave in.

I stopped walking and let my guard down. Then I stood square to her. She stepped back and I spoke. “Sorry but I have somewhere to go. Do you mind if I walk to the beach alone? Thank you.” Surprisingly this worked. She said “okay sorry ka” and returned to her battle station. Relieved, I continued my journey down to the beach.

I got to Starbucks and had my drink. Then I pulled out my phone and logged in to the account that I pay taxes from. I had already done most of my US taxes online. I just needed to read them over and submit it all. This is where I got fucked in the ass. I won’t get into the exact numbers but lets just say I got hammered right between the cheeks. The income tax in America is already sky high for business people. What makes it worse is owing this money even if you don’t live in the US at all!

So yes. I have joined the ranks of men who have had their ass holes hammered out. The amazonian kathoey on Soi 6/1 might not have stuck her giant cock up my butt. But I got fucked in the ass nonetheless.

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