The one who got away

Many men have stories about “the one who got away.” While I do believe every man should experience true love, I have always written these tales off as soppy shit. There are other fish in the sea. So cry a river, build a bridge, and get the fuck over it. Right?

Well, my perspective has been changed a little by experience. There was this waitress in Thailand. She was the best women I’ve ever met. Even though I’ve had sex with hundreds of women I still can’t shake her from my mind. I haven’t turned into a sexless incel or anything crazy. I mean, I could never hate women. I still go out and fuck on the regular too.

Yet the thought of this amazing woman does pop up in my mind. I don’t obsess over her. I can even go days without thinking of her at all. Then something will strike a chord in my memory and images of her come back. Sometimes I see a warm smile that reminds me of her warmth. Other times I’ll see a new family and imagine what might have been. Once in a while thoughts of her arrive in the middle of the night when I awake from a dream and sit in total silence.

Me and the waitress

They say it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I am not so sure. You might think this is a joke. After nearly ten years of telling you about my many sexual adventures it might even seem comical.

Now the guy who said marriage is for suckers is telling you about a missed opportunity at love. But hey, I am just a human like you. I eat, sleep and feel the same way we all do.

In this case I met a truly great person who wanted to spend her life with me. I don’t know if it would have worked out. I just know the chance was there. I didn’t take it. So now I am left wondering what could have been. Can you blame me?

I’ve had pretty good luck with servers over the years. I fucked that 21 year old waitress in Vietnam. Then there was the Thai waitress that picked me up! But this one was different. She was special. And regrettably, I let her get away.

It’s not all roses

I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. It’s not like I can just point at any chick I want and fuck. The reality isn’t like that. Not even in Manilla. Sure, I get a ton of pussy. But I also put in a lot of work. I am always looking for sex. Sometimes I get it. Sometimes I don’t.

For example there was this cute waitress in Chiang Mai. She was petite with ivory white skin. I used to go to the place she worked and ordered tea. Over time I worked up a report with her. I was staying in a nearby condo so I had time. Eventually we went on a date. It went great and we started talking about sex and relationships. I was all ready to bone on her the second date when she stopped replying to my messages.

When I went to her cafe again I found out what happened. She knew where I lived because I brought it up before. One day after work she walked over there. She started asking the security guard if he knew me. He did. He also knew that I brought a lot of chicks into my room. And he decided to tell her that. I never found out which guard it was. Really, it didn’t matter. The damage was done and I missed out. But I didn’t care so much about that one.

The backstory

This waitress worked at a popular restaurant in the middle of Bangkok. I used to go there pretty frequently. One reason is that I usually stay in a condo nearby. Another is because the food is good and inexpensive. I would usually dine alone. But I did take a couple of chicks to the restaurant too.

Every time I went to the restaurant I would see this pretty yet demure woman working there. She had a naturally pretty face, fair skin, and one of the best smiles I have ever seen. She was always nice but we never went beyond the normal staff-customer relationship. I guess I didn’t want to shit where I eat. But eventually I started talking to her more. I still remember the first time I really got into a conversation with her.

I was actually with another Thai woman. She was a pretty cold and rude professional who worked at a bank. I met her on Tinder and we fucked twice. On this date she was being very rude to the server with the smile for no reason. I think she just looks down on “servants.” I didn’t like it. So I decided to step in. I started talking to the waitress more than normal. I asked how her day was going and a lot more small talk.

We started dating

The waitress obviously liked it. But at the same time I could tell she was a little worried about my date. So she didn’t get too deep into the discussion. About a week later I returned alone. The place was empty. The waitress came over and said hello in a more informal way than normal. Right off the bat I started asking her lots of questions. Where are you from? How old are you? Are you married? While it might seem strange in the West, these kinds of personal questions are normal topics of discussion in Southeast Asia.

She was very forthcoming. I found out that she was 22 years old. And that she was from a farming family in the north. I told her about me when she asked. I even cracked some jokes that made her laugh. It took about 10 minutes for me to even look at the menu. We kept talking as I ate. On the way out I asked for her phone number and Line ID. She wrote them both on the back of my receipt.

As soon as I got outside I started sending her messages. I told her that she was beautiful. I also mentioned that I always looked forward to seeing her pretty smile at the restaurant. Then I asked her out on a date. She asked about “my wife.” I laughed and said I was not married. She then asked about the woman I came to the restaurant with. I told her she was a banker I was doing business with, which wasn’t completely untrue. The waitress quickly accepted this and agreed to date.

Over several months we went on numerous meets. Cafes, restaurants, parks, markets. We spent a lot of time together. She didn’t talk a lot, but that’s just because she’s a quiet person. The conversations we did have were quite meaningful. I used to get lost in her big brown eyes. She was a “good girl” in Thai terms. No tattoos. She didn’t drink or smoke. She went to the temple every weekend. Plus she only had sex with one guy before me.

It got better

That might seem difficult to believe but I could tell it was true when we finally got into bed on the forth date. She was nervous. She also had a big full bush. Her hole was super tight too. True to form she didn’t let me go down on her. I didn’t bother to ask her to go down on me. Somehow the sex was still great. Probably because it was more like making love. Lots of touching, caressing and kissing. Her body was flawless. Perfectly round and perky boobs that were big for her body without being huge. Soft pink nipples. A solid ass that was smooth as silk. And she smelt like lavender.

As time went on things got even better. We talked daily. We hung out every day I was in Bangkok. Sometimes for weeks straight. The sex even improved. She asked me if I wanted head. I told her I didn’t want her to do anything she was uncomfortable with. But she wanted to try, in her words, to “please me.” She even cooked when I begged her not to. I figured working in a restaurant was enough time with food for one person. But she would say “that’s what women are supposed to do.”

After a while I started buying her gifts. It started with a small pair of gold earnings. Eventually I bought her an entire set of gold jewelry. This kind of stuff is cheaper in Thailand than America. But it’s certainly not inexpensive. Note that she never asked for anything. Not even once. I actually wanted to give her these things and it warmed my heart to see her face when I would occasionally surprise her with gifts.

It got worse

So what went wrong? Well, I like to fuck. And travel. That’s all my life has been for many years. While a traditional Thai woman like this probably expects and even accepts that her man will fuck around, they still want commitment. While I told her I loved her and called her my girl, I was never truly committed. I would fuck around when she worked. Then I would leave for days or weeks at a time. I wouldn’t always reply to her messages either.

She stood by me but after nearly a year she started asking questions. “Why don’t you come stay with me full time?,” she would ask. “Do you have another woman?” Worst of all was when she would ask “Don’t you love me?” It truly wrenched my heart.

A man cannot live by two names. Eventually it caught up with me. After almost a year she posed an ultimatum: get serious or leave and stop breaking my heart. I couldn’t argue with that. I never wanted to hurt this wonderful women. So I just stopped going back to see her. That was in 2022.

She recently sent me a message. “How are you?” she asked. I couldn’t resist, so I answered back immediately. After a little back and forth I found out that she is engaged to marry an American. They are waiting for the visa application to go through. When it does, she will move to the states and start a family with him. “Do you love him?” I asked. “No,” she replied. “But he loves me.”